Happy Friday once again friends! Today I wanted to touch on some wedding “issues” that I’ve seen pop-up a lot over the last few weeks. These three items I’ve either been personally asked about for our wedding, or I’ve seen come up with friends of mine as they plan their big days & thought I could give my opinion! Let’s get into it.
First up, the guest list, and quite possibly the most agonizing item any bride & groom will face during the planning process. We’ve all seen the dramatics played out in TV and movies, family members threatening not to come, feuds erupting, and people unable to sit near certain people.
In planning our wedding, the biggest road block has been the size of my family. I have approximately 196 family members, who I see on the regular. I’m blessed to have an army behind me, and love spending time with each of them.
For any bride and groom, depending on their venue, the guest list may have to be cut. We’re fairly confident we may be choosing one of to two venues: one of which is close but has less room while the other has ample room for guests but is located two hours away.
An important fact I want to stress, and cannot stress enough, is that the guest list is not a list of who is loved versus who is not. The guest list is not a list of who is loved versus who is not. Trust that the bride and groom have put their heart and minds into the guest list. They, and whoever else is involved in the planning, did not throw caution to the wind when selecting the attendees.
Also, don’t get discouraged! I’ve seen couples have a “B List” ready and waiting and as no RSVPs start flowing in, those “B list” invitations start going out. However, I have seen people get cut from the B list for how poorly they reacted after not getting an initial invitation, so please tread lightly. No guest or couple wants to deal with dramatics about who was or wasn’t invited. As I’ve mentioned above, it was most likely not an easy decision to make and does not reflect the amount, or lack, of love from the couple.
Once you get “the number” of guests, the invitations and the way in which they are addressed, tends to extend the guest list issue. I’ve written other blog posts about this issue alone, but as a quick recap:
Mr. & Mrs. Joe Shmoe = husband & wife invited (the same can be said for same sex couples)
Ms. Suzie Q = just Suzie is invited, no plus one
Ms. Suzie Q & Guest = Suzie & a date get to attend
The Shmoe Family = the parents & children are invited
Let’s not forget how important it is to RSVP on time. It doesn’t matter if you are in the wedding, or live in the bride and groom’s basement, they need the RSVP card and they need to know what you’re eating. Expect a phone call if you don’t RSVP in time, but please save everyone the stress.
Also, the line on some RSVP cards that reads “M__________________” is for you to write your name. The M is for Mr. / Mrs. / Ms. and then your name. Please DO NOT forget this- it is the ONLY way the bride / groom will know who is RSVPing back to them. Yes, some brides have tricks for tracking this, but I won’t divulge, because y’all need to do this step haha!
Also, the blank line for you to write in the number of guest(s) attending does not mean you get to fill it in with any number you wish. Please refer to how the invitation was addressed. If the invitation was for Ms. Suzie Q but she fills in the number 4, as her total number of guest- she will be getting a phone call to explain that only she was invited.
And if day of something terrible has happened and you are unable to attend, you need to let someone in the bridal party know! Also, “I don’t feel like going” is not an acceptable reason, don’t let something that would not keep you from work keep you from attending. Or at least lie and say you’ve been throwing up all day. Not showing up is just terribly rude.
Now as a disclosure- we are just beginning to review our guest list, and our final venue choice has not been made. Please remember the above is a combination of my own thoughts from my planning process as well as what I have witnessed other friends agonize over.
Unplugged ceremonies are quite a new concept but something I la-la-love! As you can imagine, cell phones have become so popular and so ingrained into our daily lives, the thought of whipping out your cell to capture a moment is knee-jerk.
However, imagine with me for a moment, you are trying to watch your best friend get married and someone’s cell is blocking the view. Or perhaps you are the bride and look out expecting to see the faces of those who you love the most as you stand next to your husband to be, and all you see is the back of cell phones. Or you get back your wedding photos and the ceremony pictures are scattered with cell phones.
Not to mention the distraction of a cell phone going off or an unwarranted and distracting flash. If this doesn’t bother you- then more power to you! I will speak for my fiancé and myself here and say, our wedding ceremony will be unplugged. Please turn off your cell phones- we want you to be as fully present in the moment as we are. Take all the pictures you wish during cocktail hour and the reception!
Bottom line, for all three “issues” above, whatever the bride and groom request of you, you should respect. If they want an unplugged ceremony, please be respectful. If they do not give you a plus one, please do not argue or bring one anyway. If you were not invited or some other issues arises, please understand it doesn’t mean they don’t love you.
Oh- and don’t wear white to a wedding 😉
With all my love & happy planning to brides-to-be, happy FriYay everyone. Enjoy your weekend!